Cards! Presents!Flowers!

February 14^th. Cards! Presents! Flowers!

Valentines Day is wonderful for those who have a truly romantic experience, but for those who don’t it is at best a normal day, if a bit irritating, and at worst a real kick in the self-esteem department. Originally a way of signalling somebody has an admirer, Valentines is now a huge commercial business that often has little to do with love.

Pamela Crust, Counsellor and Manager at Relate Medway North Kent says “Love is not about paying out for overpriced flowers and stressing over a table at THAT restaurant one day a year. It is about small gestures, thoughtfulness and consideration every day. By all means go for the full Valentines experience if that is what you want to do. But don’t forget the other 364 days of the year.”

Some common Valentines worries are:

I want to give my partner the full Valentines experience, but I can’t afford it:

Showing love should not be expensive. Leave a note expressing how you feel. Text them during the day. Cook a meal instead of going out – and talk. Tell them you love them.

Another Valentines Day that I am alone. So depressing.

If you know you are likely to feel blue arrange something you really enjoy with a friend. Go and see a film or have an evening at home enjoying their company. Remember, whatever it feels like, most people are not out swooning over candlelit meals.

My friends get cards, flowers, romance. My partner just ignores it.

Your relationship is unique and cannot be compared to others. Some people buy gifts and flowers and it means everything to them, others can spend money but not mean anything by it. Don’t judge your partner on one day, but on the day-to-day life you have together.

I resent the whole commercialisation of this day and don’t want to get involved:

So don’t. But make sure your partner knows how you feel and show your love in other ways – use words and actions to ensure they feel secure in your relationship.

If you are finding it hard to be alone, or that your relationship is under pressure, contact us. Our trained counsellors can help.